Blame the Protestants

The Protestant work ethic can go suck a dick. It’s one of those values that has been instilled in the depths of my soul, thank you University of Laboratory High School for giving me the opportunity to overcome (yet another) piece of traumatic messaging that still fills me with debilitating anxiety 15 years later.

The Protestant work ethic seems to try to shame and guilt people into working harder and longer than they are meant to by making them think that such toil somehow speaks to one’s character or value in society. If you work hard then you will go to heaven… if you were one of the pre-destined. How do you know if you were one of the pre-destined? Because you have the ability to work long and hard. Sounds like bullshit to me. Also sounds just like the American dream. If you work hard then you will be able to attain comfort, freedom, riches, anything you’d like. Also sounds like bullshit to me.

It’s not like I don’t enjoy working. Something about moving my body/seeing things get built, and moving my mind/learning new skills is genuinely fun for me. I work hard. And then. I like. To break. HARD. Maybe not hard, but definitely longer than I like to be doing labor.

When I was young, maybe 9 or 10 years old, I remember watching the Olympics with my mom. The rhetoric on TV was that America was the best country in the world. I asked my mom, “if America is the best country in the world, then why do you have to work more than you get to spend time with me and the rest of the family? If we’re the best then why don’t we have the most time to do things we want to do instead of things we have to do?“ I never got a good answer to that question, because there is none. It is completely unacceptable that the masses continue to break their backs for other people to profit and leisure. And yet we do. Every day. For fear that our basic needs will cease to be met, and our dreams will become unattainable.

Day three was a challenge. I took the day off and these are the thoughts that were swimming in my head. capitalism is all a very stupid game that I cannot stand playing. I am mad when I am winning it. And I am rageful when I am losing it. Where is the opt out button? My body gets filled with the aforementioned debilitating anxiety when I force it to do things that my heart detests. Every system that we create and Interact with should serve one purpose… To serve us.

I don’t feel served when I have to stay home due to exposer with no pay. I don’t feel served when I have to work 3 jobs to fill my needs and crawl towards my goals. I don’t feel served when I have to choose self care or work. And I like my job!!! Nothing is wrong. There’s nothing to dread. Still, every morning of this cleanse my heart tries to fly out of my chest from the moment I realize that I’m having a crazy dream about work all the way until I actually leave work 12 hours later. I’ve mastered getting my hands to stop shaking, my voice to stop wavering, and my tears to stay in the back of my eyes. By the time I leave work, I’m just an overfilled balloon ready to pop. And then the chatter begins. Why does it hurt so much even when I like my job? The fucking Protestant work ethic. Sign me out of capitalism, thank you.