Late last night I woke up to a movement and a bang. My heart flew up, hitting my chest as I fell down backwards. The bed has been skillfully balanced on a broken box spring for the last few months. The fear that awoke me milliseconds before, quickly dissipated as logic took over and connected the dots. The bed must have moved in my shifting in a way that finally broke the box spring, causing me to fall back and the noise was probably some wood breaking.
4 AM. Fuck it, I was up. So I got up. Turned on a meditation. 30 minutes, done. Something was wrong. I was hot. Like there was a fire in my stomach. And I was getting hotter. Water. I went and got some water. My heart was racing. I needed to run. I fed Simba, let him out, put my clothes on, and set off to watch the sunrise on the river.
The front door opened, and it was so bright. Strange for 6 am. Didn’t phase me. I couldn’t breathe as well as normal. Didn’t phase me, we’re entering that super humid season, it is New Orleans. The sand under my feet started to burn. I must have forgotten to put on my shoes.
I couldn’t breathe. I fell to the ground. It felt like I was going to throw up fire. Suddenly the skin on my neck started to feel like an actual animal was chewing threw it. From the inside out. A grub. I could feel it moving. Blocking my airways. I hadn’t taken a breath in too long. The pain was excruciating. Everything became bright white. I fell backwards onto the sand, clutching my neck, gasping for air.
As soon as my head hit the ground I woke up. Covered in sweat. Heart racing. Still needing to run. I checked my bed, there was nothing wrong with it. I wonder what Simba was dreaming about.
ALways ONE never ALONE 